Friend of Sinners, or Friend of the World

There are two biblical realties that the church has often had trouble keeping distinct, and probably even more so in our day. The first is that Jesus was called a friend of sinners (Matthew 11:19) and we should follow in his footsteps as such. And the second is that anyone who is a friend of the world is an enemy of God (James 4:4). The reason the contemporary church conflates friendship with sinners and friendship with the world is not because these realities are confusing or so similar that they are indistinguishable. It is because the temptations to conformity and acceptance are growing stronger in our increasingly secular age. It is worth taking some time to think through these two ideas, making sure we are keeping them distinct in in our lives.

A Friend of Sinners

Jesus was called a friend of sinners because Jesus was with sinners. His willingness to bring sinners into his life was upsetting to the religious elite. Nevertheless, Jesus ate with them, healed them, taught them and spent time with them. He did not shun them or bring a condemnation upon them in a blanket form. However, he was also not participating in their sin. He wasn’t getting drunk or smirking at their off color jokes. Jesus was hearing about their life, listening to their ideas and paying attention to their problems and pains. And it didn’t stop there. He told them the truth. He would speak to them where they were, bring the hope of the gospel to their doorstep and redeem them as they embraced him.

Perhaps the woman at the well is the perfect example of this. In John chapter 4, Jesus was weary and was resting by a well when a Samaritan woman came to draw water. He didn’t get up to leave, but instead very purposely engaged this woman. It was way outside of social norms to talk to a woman, and it was even more shocking for a Jew to speak to a Samaritan. But Jesus did this. She immediately recognized that this was unusual, so Jesus went to the core issue of why he was willing to do this: he had eternal life to offer her.

This conversation continued with the back-and-forth of a regular dialog. The point is that Jesus was willing and eager to do this. Even in his weariness, he wanted engage with her. We need to follow Jesus in this. We need to meet with people, hear their stories, understand their positions and connect with their pains. We are to love them where they are with a redemptive purpose, and look for ways to bring the gospel to them in clear and understandable terms. Any love that does not have redemptive purposes is a faulty love, and will be where the problems of friendship with the world start.

A Friend of the World

So how is this friendship of the world different than a friendship with sinners? When the Bible speaks of the “world” there are several different things that the word “world” could be mean. For this blog, we are focusing on the meaning where world is synonymous with worldliness. The world is the system of godless and rebellious ideologies that are set up against the knowledge of God (2 Corinthians 10:5). The “world” represents how you do sin. And the “world” can be different in different places. Sin patterns and proclivities change with the times and cultures. American culture hates pedophilia but loves homosexuality. Ancient Roman culture loved pedophilia but hated humility. Islamic culture hates homosexuality but loves oppression. Whatever cultural system you are in, that culture will seek to bring you into conformity with its norms. Within any local culture, if you are being drawn into some sinful activity or mindset, then you are not a friend of sinners, you are a friend of the world. And you are not the sinners’ friend because a true friend seeks their highest good in redemption. Instead you are a friend of destruction and deception. You are allowing darkness to blind yourself and others.

Attending a gay wedding is not being a friend of sinners, it is friendship with the world. But inviting a gay friend to dinner is not friendship with the world, it is being a friend of sinners. Hanging with the guys on the driving range and getting a little buzzed is not being a friend of sinners, it is friendship with the world. But hanging with the guys for shooting pool and deepening relationships is not friendship with the world, but being a friend of sinners.

The Dividing Line

When does friendship with a sinner cross over into friendship with the world? The key is whether there are holy redemptive purposes involved. When a friendship is built for the sake of the gospel, this is true and real friendship. If there are no actual redemptive purposes, it is just a relational hidden door that the world will use to sneak into your life. Additionally, holiness is critical. A relationship will not be redemptive if you do not keep holiness as a priority. If your behavior reflects unholiness, it will undermine any redemptive purposes you think you are achieving. You cannot achieve holy purposes with unholy means. A friend of sinners will only be a friend to the degree that he upholds the truth and holds out the truth to them. This can be uncomfortable and sometimes unwelcome but necessary nonetheless.

So keep the distinction between friend of sinners and a friend of the world, and then you will be a friend indeed to the lost people of the world.