God’s Anger Management Tool

Anger is a difficult thing. The reason it is difficult is because there are two things that are clear from scripture about it. First, anger is not necessarily a sin. Second, most anger is sin. To illustrate the first point, we read of God’s anger in the Old Testament, we see Jesus’ anger in the temple, and we are instructed in Ephesians 4:26 that we can “be angry yet do not sin.” To illustrate the second point, Proverbs continually warns against anger, and Ephesians and Colossians call us to “get rid of all…anger.”

So, this is scary stuff. Anger is like dynamite. Dynamite can be a good thing that accomplishes good purposes. But, boy, you don’t want to mess around with dynamite. It is not something that should be carried around in your back pocket or kept in the glove compartment of your car. It needs special storage, special transportation, and special handling. In the same way, is there anything that God has revealed in scripture that will serve as a safety mechanism for anger? He has, and it is called the sun.

The sun is the main time keeper of our lives. Therefore, in speaking of the sun, we are speaking of time. The use of time is the best ally for knowing when and how to enter, and exit anger. Over and over again, the scripture speaks of time in relation to anger.

First, you need to let time pass before you enter anger.

James 1:19–20 (NASB95) — 19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; 20 for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God.

Proverbs 14:17 (NASB95) — 17 A quick-tempered man acts foolishly, And a man of evil devices is hated.

Proverbs 16:32 (NASB95) — 32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.

So, the first rule of anger is that the sun needs to travel a while before anger is allowed into your life. This teaches us two keys truths. 1) Anger should be something that you choose to enter. It must not be something that crashes into your life, wreaking havoc as it pleases. You allow anger to come on your terms. 2) Anger should be something that comes slowly so that you have time to fully assess your heart and the situation. You need to give time to knowing what something is, why it is there, and how bad it really is. The key information will be how God has been defamed. You may be sinned against, but you are not the most important part of this puzzle. All righteous anger will model God’s anger, and His honor is supreme above all. Once you know the true aspects of the situation, then your anger can be proportionate to the offense, not too strong and not too weak. You need time to do all of this. As a finite creature, rarely do you have all the relevant information immediately at hand. Usually, taking this time upfront will allow you to see that most of your anger is simply coming from selfish ambitions and not about God’s defaming. The patient man, who is slow to anger, will be the man who uses this time to put to death his own selfish pride and let compassion grow for those whose sinning is the straying that sheep do.

Second, you need to let the sun put a time limit on your anger.

Ephesians 4:26 (NASB95) — 26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,

Assuming that you have done the first point correctly, and you have a righteous anger, what now? In that anger you take action, be it prayer or confrontation, which is calculated and biblically directed. However, the above verse lets us know that there is a time limit on our anger. What is that time limit? Answer: soon.

I fear that many have applied a wooden literalism to this verse that is not justified. Most often I have heard that you can’t go to sleep with anger. Many couples have had sleepless nights because they were told that they can’t go to bed angry. But where did that restriction come from? Not this verse. That idea fails on multiple levels. First, it ignores the first point addressed above; that a couple is not allowed to get angry quickly. They must be slow to anger. They must gather all the information before they have anger. Normally, anger escalates quickly over something and they spend the evening yelling at each other trying to resolve it. They failed at the very first command; to be slow to anger. Second, if they took this verse too literally, they would have to cease their anger at sunset. But we realize that kind of time table might only allow you a half hour of anger. What if you get angry at night? Does that mean you get the whole night and the next day to be angry? This is not what the Bible is aiming for. Third, the notion of not going to sleep angry is an imposition on the text. It doesn’t say that. The figure of speak simply teaches that that anger is to have an expiration date, and it is soon. Most couples struggle with unbiblical anger, but even if true righteous anger happens, and it happens in the evening, a person would be fine to sleep on it. They would then wake up and spend the day praying about the situation and looking for a course of action.

So the expiration date of anger is a short one. I don’t think you need to attach a number of hours to it. You simply need to make sure that anger does not find a home in your heart. It is only a visitor that serves a purpose and then leaves. But, what if the situation that caused the anger doesn’t leave? There are countless issues that remain for weeks, years, and decades. We are now at the heart of handling anger rightly. This verse in Ephesians, that teaches a short expiration date on anger, teaches us that even a righteous anger is not to remain in our life and define who we are. What is it that shows anger the door before it makes a home in our heart? It is a deep trust in God. In the face of hard hearts or evil governments or destructive social changes, a Christian knows that God has His grip on all of it, directing it so that ultimately it accomplishes His good purposes. Faith in God overwhelms our anger so that what remains is a confident resolve that God will use our words of truth spoken with grace and love. Anger will serve us for stirring things up and confronting sin as Jesus did in the temple, but our love-driven sacrifice and gospel proclamation will be the defining features of our lives that God will use in glorious ways.

So, be very wary of anger. Be slow to let it come. Be probing the situation and your heart to know if anger is biblically justified. When it is allowed, keep your eye on the sun, making sure anger does not plan on having an extended stay.