Self-esteem Will Dismantle Your Love

The right tool for the right job; that’s the professional’s mode of operation. Even in the area of demolition, If you are going to do it effectively, you need the right tools. So today I am asking, what would be a good tool for dismantling someone’s effectiveness for Christ. There are plenty of options, but one less noticed is self-esteem. Your self-esteem is killing your knowledge of Christ, your love for Christ, and your service for Christ.

A Paradigm shifting statement

There is an incredibly instructive situation recorded in Luke 7:39-50. A Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to dinner. From the beginning the whole situation had the feel of a witch-hunt with the putrid scent of ulterior motives. And Jesus knew it. Yet, in grace and condescension, Jesus ate with sinners. Not that Simon and his pals believed they were sinners, mind you. No. For them a real sinner looked like the whoring blight of womanhood that just walked in. Compared to that they felt pristine clean. This worldly woman, this street-walker, began to wash his feet with her tears. It was a moving scene for everyone: Jesus was moved to compassion, Simon to disgust and incredulous scorn.

Then, Jesus made a paradigm shifting comment. Luke 7:47b says “he who is forgiven little, loves little.” With the skill of a master craftsman, he painted a picture with one explosive point: your self-esteem will dismantle your love.

How Self-esteem dismantles love & worship

Think about this. Those who are trying to feel good about themselves, to feel praiseworthy in and of themselves are constantly trying to be forgiven of little. They want to minimize their sin. This is a primary goal self-esteem pursuits are trying to accomplish. People want to deny, blame-shift, or be a victim. However it gets done, the goal is to not be seen in a bad light, whatever that bad light may be. We want to be the hero, not the zero.

But, if you pursue self-esteem, the grace of God becomes less amazing because you say you are not that bad of a person. The love of God becomes less lovely because you are asserting you were lovable to begin with. The Savior of God becomes less needed, because you feel that you can get most of the way yourself. Feeling good about yourself means not feeling like a sinner, but that is ignoring a glaring and serious reality about ourselves. A self-esteem advocate is never going to feel good about making the same kind of declaration that the apostle Paul made of himself, “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” 1 Tim. 1:15.

Now, you may want to argue here, “But Simon really was a better person than the prostitute”. “He should feel better about himself, because he hasn’t done all that she did.” You might be right. But, you might be wrong. We don’t know about Simon’s life and history, and we don’t know this woman’s life and history. All we get is one snapshot. Simon’s snubbing of the Son of God is, well, horrifying. Her fornication is also a terrible marring of God’s design. However, something happens when you look up and up and up. When you try to peer into the infinite righteousness and purity of God, you find that all sin starts to look like a single flame of hell down below. God’s justice will one day exact perfect and proportionate penalty on every sin. Until then, from our view of things, all of our sin, big and small, is going to look like one big blob of uncleanness that assaults the holiness of God.

Self-esteem’s other results

Being a sinner, what are you doing trying to feel good about yourself? Why are you making little of your particular blob of uncleanness? All you are doing is dismantling what would cause great love for God. Here are some ways that happens. First, self-esteem dismantles knowing God, because it encourages a self-focus that give less time to learn and meditate on God and His grace towards you. Second, self-esteem dismantles love for God because you will be preoccupied with loving yourself. Self-love is a dangerous thing because we often don’t really know what is best for us, and because we really can’t love ourselves better than God. To think we can love ourselves well is encouraging an inferior activity that is shot through with self-deceit. Third, self-esteem dismantles service, because self-esteem is self-exalting, and God is only interested in using people who depend upon Him and reflect the glory back to Him due to their dependence.

You need to repent of your efforts to ignore repentance. You need to embrace the fact that the infinite God had to kill His perfect Son, because your sin was so heinous. Only when the stench of your own sin fills your nostrils will the fresh air of grace enrapture you. God is great; you are not. His grace is amazingly free; your sin is shockingly evil. Let God’s lovingkindness reach to the heavens, not your self-opinion.

“He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” (2 Cor. 5:21) Only God is worthy of esteem. When we see and know and feel that we are forgiven much, we will know, love, and serve God much.